Greetings everybody,
I hope everyone had a great summer, got to dip your feet in the water, feel the strength of the sun, etc.... after all, that's what this life is about. At least that's my best guess.
Recently, I was on tour, and was able to stay in the same city for two nights, which is a rarity.
The extra hours allowed me to hit a fancy gym next door to my hotel in the afternoon, as opposed to my early morning hotel gym routine, which was nice. (I workout as much as I can on the road, mostly for mental health).
Anyhow, as I was leaving the gym in the late afternoon I had a brief sense of dread sweep over me as I thought about having to head off to play my show in a few hours. I figured it was a little stage fright, knowing I'd been off the road, and away from performing for a couple of months. But I should be used to that. Or should I?
So, it was my reaction to that little bout of dread that I thought was funny, because I literally got livid at myself. How dare I not look at the big picture? Here I was, staying in a really nice hotel, in a beautiful city, about to go sing for people and get paid fairly handsomely for it at the end of the night.
I quickly remembered a scene from a week earlier: I happened to walk by the employee entrance of the hotel where I worked in Boston (before I played music for a living) with my two sons. I told my them "that's where your dad used to work everyday from 6:30am 'til 2:30pm". To add an extra dose of nostalgia the same rancid odor of decaying fruit mixed with rotten dairy splatter still escaped the dumpsters and rushed directly to my nostrils, just like it had all those years ago.
"That's right boys, 6:30am start time every day working in a dingy food storeroom. I would have to punch a time clock to prove I got there on time."
Early work hours were particularly hilarious for me as I would typically stay up til three or four in the morning because that's just what my friends and I did back then. I would typically wake up confused at six am, inevitably think "what the hell am I doing with my life" and stumble out my apartment door. I'd hop on the sad as a prison transfer bus city line and be to work twenty minutes later, at which point I'd muddle through the day, half heartily, high on caffeine from as much coffee as I could manage to sneak away from the employee cafeteria, with the goal of....well..... I had no goals, except for a way, way off distant dream of being a professional musician.
And fast forward all these years later to where I'm walking out of a luxury gym after flying into a town to do one gig and fly home, and I'm fighting off a sense of reluctance because I have to go sing for people?
Absolutely not. I will not allow it.
So I guess I'm just kind of checking in with gratitude, which I do as often as I remember, but I feel like now I need to more than ever because I'm at the point in my career where it can feel normal to take it all for granted.
But I refuse.
I say this a lot but I know more than anyone how not famous I am, yet at the same time, if you had told me back when I was punching a time clock at 6:30 AM how famous I would become I would've never believed you. Or something like that.
Thank you for giving me a reason to sing, a purpose beyond myself and an escape from the dumpster smell.
In other news I shot a video for my song called If You're Still There which was in the movie "Some Kind of Beautiful". The video was directed by Armen Varadian, who also directed my video for The Accident. The new video features Lisa Bello as my co-star. She is one of the most gifted singers in Boston and turned out to be a great actress too. It also features a cameo by my buddy Matt Beck. Look for it to go live in the coming weeks.
And, I am doing a multi-city tour for the Fall.
And The Push Stars (my old band) are getting together to do a couple of shows which is exciting for me.
We are as close to blood brothers as grown men can get yet we act as immature as tweens when we're together so we hope to see you around the neighborhood.
Thanks as ever,
CT